Four Thousand Fifteen

Days.
That I've 'known' Nila in this lifetime.
Very shortly after we met, I had a dream of her and I (and her father, the shopkeeper) in an old general store in the wild west, so perhaps it's been a bit longer . . . ya think?

Today is the 11 year anniversary of the evening we met.
Today is therefore the 4015th day that I've woken up happier than the day before.
I still smile every time I see her, even if I just returned from going into the other room and back!
We still hold hands, sit on the same side of the bench at restaurants and walk down the street smiling and laughing as we entertain ourselves.
We fall asleep holding hands and often wake up the same way.

Nila is my best friend and my true love.

Below is the story of how we met . . .
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I met my true love, my soulmate, on the internet at 10:30 in the evening on the 21st day of August, 1997. I'll never forget - it was only the second or third time I had chatted on the 'net, and was just looking for someone to talk to, during a dark, lonely period in my life. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine what was to happen.
It all started innocently enough, during an evening of conversation in an open chat room (the Canadian room at 'The Park'), when one of the people in the room asked everyone what their favourite movie was and why. So, being the open and honest person that I am, I replied to the room, using the nickname 'Scorpion', that I loved 'Dances With Wolves' because it spoke very deeply to me about what we, white people, have done to the native north americans, and it made me feel very ashamed of 'my' race from then on. I even said that I cried afterwards, and was unable to speak about the movie for a short time for all the emotions it brought up. That's when a fiesty girl chimed in, using the handle 'Alarum' (a song off the recent Tea Party CD, Transmission) and sent me a private message, saying simply, 'Scorpios don't cry!'. And I messaged her right back saying, 'Well this one does, and isn't the least bit ashamed'. From there, we kind of forgot about the chat 'room' we were in, and just talked to each other. I asked her what her name meant, and that led to talking about the Tea Party, and music in general. She asked if my handle alluded to the fact that I am a Scorpio, and I replied it did, and that led to us talking about us both being Scorpios, and what typical traits we shared. As the night went on we talked for over 3 hours about life, about music, about being Scorpio, about anything and everything, and didn't want to say good-bye, even that first time together. I didn't sleep much that night, but simply tossed our conversation around in my head, already anticipating hearing from her again. Something clicked. Something was not just a little bit right - no, something was exactly right, for the first time in both our lives.
Every day after that, we e-mailed or chatted online, asking each other every question we could think of, and stating our likes and dislikes, which always earned a positive reply of 'Me too!'. For weeks, we communicated this way, and not once did we disagree on anything about life or what interested us, both of us knowing and feeling that the other was being completely open and honest. It seemed surreal at the time How could anyone else be so perfect, we both thought!.
One topic we discussed a lot was music. We are both music lovers, and learned quickly that we shared most of the same interests in music. Although separated in age by 13 years, there didn't seem to be any music that one of us liked, that the other didn't know about. I was simply astounded by this circumstance, as I had just written a 'wish list' for the perfect partner, and a love of music was definately near the top of the list. Here she was.
So, as our talk of music continued, we would often put a quote from a lyric at the bottom of our e-mails to each other, or just use an appropriate lyric in conversation. We also got used to finishing each other's sentences with a lyric, or simply finishing each other's sentences! One day, at the bottom an e-mail, were the lines:
'confess what you crave
a life without pain
you'd kill for the taste
but the hurt still remains'

Surprising myself, I recognized the lines right away as being from the most recent Tea Party CD, Transmission. Nila, being a huge fan of the Tea Party at the time, had influenced me to buy this CD, as well as their first two CD's. In fact, I actually had one of their CD's, 'Alhambra', but had never really listened to it until I met her.
The song that the lines come from, is 'Emerald', and when I read the lyrics closely -felt the lyrics go through me - I cried for knowing exactly how she heard the song when she would listen to it. I replied to her the next day, explaining how I felt when I listened to the song as I know she did, and that I knew what it meant to her. She replied back right away, and said that before we had met, when she heard that song for the first time, she knew she would marry the man who fully understood the meaning of the lyrics to 'her' song, 'Emerald.'
Upon reading her reply, I knew 'I am that man', and so I asked her to marry me, the first time we met . . . and, of course, she said yes. We have now been together for 5 years and 63 days as of the hour of my writing this, without ever spending a day without talking, and then after living together, having never spent a night apart. Although not married 'on paper', we know we have been 'married' forever and always will be.
We are going to see the Tea Party one week from tonight - the fourth time we've seen them (3 of those, together) Sometimes, I wonder what it might mean to the writer of those lyrics, Jeff Martin, if he should know what his words meant that night to these 2 music-loving Scorpios. And sometimes I wonder what he meant by the words he wrote. Every time we see them perform, I look at him and smile, knowing that it doesn't really matter, because we know. And that is the power of music, the power of love. So, what did those lyrics mean? Well, that's a secret, our secret, and our connection, although if Jeff were to ask us, I think we'd tell him.